the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
