Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
