I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
