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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST

  (573): View more from Missouri

  TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL

  (573): View more from Missouri

  AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  How's Vegas?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.

  (713): View more from Texas

  As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly

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