his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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