so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
