Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Your cock deserves a montage
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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