Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
