i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
