She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Randomize
