insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
