and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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