Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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