she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
