I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
