eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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