I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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