So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
