This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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