So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
