i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
