it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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