Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
