new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
They are going to name an STD after you.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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