hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
