He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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