dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
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