would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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