all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
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