Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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