Where did you get a picture of my penis
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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