I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
