I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
