maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
