He asked me if I "almost moaned"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
