Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
God I need to hump something, right now.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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