just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
be right there i have to get my cape
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
