I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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