We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
and you fell through a lawn chair
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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