he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
