is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
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