i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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