it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Randomize
