Ambien. No doubt about it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
