Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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