I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
