I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
