There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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