There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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