Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
