Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
