And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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