I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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