Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
