i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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