We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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