Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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