Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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