at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I need a beard to bite.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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