I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
