i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
