Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
now i know why i became what i already was.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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