your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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