if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
