I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize