I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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