Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Someone came in the potted fern
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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