He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
