i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
