Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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