Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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