it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize