butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize