ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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