Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
