Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
