Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize