guys are not supposed to queef...right?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
