We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
