NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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