very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
