I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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